Why Therapy Didn’t Work Before (And What to Look for Instead)

If you’ve tried therapy before and left thinking:

“This isn’t helping.”
“I just talk and nothing changes.”
“I feel validated, but I’m still stuck.”

You might have felt like therapy doesn’t work, or doesn’t work for you, but the truth is that a lot of things need to align for clients to get the most out of therapy.

Support Without Strategy Is Expensive Venting

Validation is important, but validation alone does not change patterns.

If you leave every session feeling listened to but unchanged, ask:

• Do we have clear goals?

• Are we tracking progress?

• Am I being challenged?

• Am I learning tools or strategies?

Good therapy includes:

• Direction

• Skill-building

• Accountability

• Honest conversations

Warmth and connection matter. So does movement.

Specialization Actually Matters

If a therapist lists a bunch of specialties, they are not specialized. You deserve someone who understands the context of your life, not just general coping skills.

This is where you get to push back. Ask potential therapists what training they have beyond post-secondary education. What types of clients do they most often work with. What work do they most enjoy.

Websites should list recent trainings, organizations that they are a member of, and evidence that what you need support with, they can provide it. Not all counsellors post that stuff, so ask.

Fit Is Chemistry + Competence

It’s not enough to like your therapist.

Fit means:

• You feel safe.

• They feel clinically confident helping you.

• There is enough trust for them to challenge you.

• They can push back without damaging the relationship and you can tell them when they get it wrong.

Therapy should be collaborative. You are the expert in your life, you just need a well-equipped sidekick to support you while you navigate the tough stuff.

Not someone to tell you what to do, someone to ask the right questions so you figure it out.

If therapy didn’t work before, it doesn’t mean therapy doesn’t work.

It means the fit was wrong.

How to Choose the Best Counsellor in Alberta (What Most People Get Wrong)

If you’re looking for a counsellor in Alberta, the options can feel overwhelming.

Psychologist
Therapist
Counsellor
Psychiatrist
Coach

Many people choose based on availability or cost alone. Others over-focus on credentials but ignore whether the therapist actually feels like a good fit.

If you’re a driven, high-functioning person, especially in a high-stress profession, the options can feel overwhelming.
If you’ve tried counselling before and it didn’t work, choosing the right counsellor feels impossible.
If you carry the feeling that what you have been through is “too much”, this all feels downright scary.

Here’s what most people get wrong.

1. Not Understanding Titles in Alberta

In Alberta, titles are not well regulated.

Registered Psychologist

A Registered Psychologist is regulated by the College of Alberta Psychologists.

That means:

• Graduate-level education (Master’s or PhD)

• Supervised clinical hours

• Registration exams

• Ongoing continuing education

• Formal accountability and ethical standards

There is oversight. There is a complaints process. There are professional standards.

Counsellor / Therapist

These titles are not consistently regulated in Alberta. Some have excellent training. Some do not.

You should ask about:

• Education

• Supervision

• Regulation

• Accountability

You’re looking for someone with a Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC) designation here. It’s not as rigorous as becoming a registered psychologist, but there are professional standards and a community of support for these practitioners.

Psychiatrist

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who can diagnose and prescribe medication. Most do not provide weekly therapy. In Alberta, you need a referral from your family doctor to access a psychiatrist

If you’re navigating trauma, suicidal ideation, or complex mental health concerns, knowing this difference is essential.

Coach

Coaching is not a regulated profession in Alberta.

Anyone can call themselves a coach.

Some coaches have excellent training. Some have none.

There is no governing college.
No standardized education requirement.
No formal complaints body.

That doesn’t make coaching bad.
It just makes it different.

2. Choosing Based on Logic Alone

High-achieving people tend to vet therapists like contractors:

• What are your credentials?

• What approaches do you use?

• What are your rates?

Those questions matter.

But you also need to ask:

• Do I feel steady talking to this person?

• Do they seem confident and clear?

• Do I feel slightly more regulated after the consult?

The best fit combines:

• Solid training

• Real specialization

• Relational chemistry

You need competence and connection.

3. Red Flags When Choosing a Counsellor

Be cautious if:

• They specialize in “everything.”

• They avoid discussing progress.

• They cannot clearly explain their training.

• They don’t offer a consultation.

• They avoid certain difficult topics.

You should feel respected and informed, not managed or handled. Consultations aren’t a sales pitch, they’re a chemistry test with a background check woven in.

4. Questions to Ask Before Booking

When booking a consultation, ask:

• What is your education and professional training?

• Are you regulated? By whom?

• What populations do you work best with? Is there anyone that you don’t work with?

• How do you measure progress?

• How do you approach suicidal ideation or self-harm?

• What are your hours? Do you offer in-person, online, or a hybrid?

• What are your rates and billing policies?

Clear answers matter.

Choosing a counsellor is not about finding the “nicest” person.

It’s about finding someone competent, steady, and aligned with your needs.

Supporting Those Who Serve: Reflections on Working With First Responders

I want to start by applauding the first responder community for the incredible steps they’ve taken to prioritize mental health and wellness. Over the past few years, there’s been a real shift and a commitment to talk openly about mental health, challenge stigma, and make space for meaningful support.

On October 1st, I had the privilege of attending The Legacy Place Society’s First Responder Symposium. It was an inspiring event that brought together speakers, advocates, and front-line professionals who live and breathe this work every day. I’m grateful to the presenters who shared their expertise, and to the first responders who took the time to sit down, chat, and share a meal with me.

Conversations like those always remind me why I do this work and strengthen my commitment to supporting firefighters, paramedics, police officers, and other emergency responders in ways that feel practical, grounded, and genuinely helpful.

I’m also honoured to collaborate with Chris Canales, a Calgary firefighter and founder of A Warrior’s Peace. This organization is dedicated to helping first responders across Canada access holistic healing and build community. The work Chris is doing is powerful and deeply needed.

What Drew Me to Working With First Responders

When I first started my work as a counsellor, I didn’t have a specific focus on first responder mental health. Honestly, I hadn’t really thought about it, but I began to notice a pattern. Many of my clients worked in high-stress, high-pressure environments where performance, composure, and service to others were constant expectations.

My passion for trauma work naturally led me toward specialized training in trauma-informed therapy. Over time, I realized how closely this aligned with the needs of people who spend their lives protecting and serving others, often at the expense of their own wellbeing.

The Unique Mental Health Challenges First Responders Face

As I learned more about the realities that first responders face, and the distinct workplace culture that shapes those realities, it became clear that therapy has to meet them where they are. It’s not just about the job description; it’s about the intensity of what they experience day after day.

Chronic stress takes a toll on both mind and body. Shift work disrupts sleep and recovery. The instinct to protect friends and family from the harsh realities of the job can lead to isolation and emotional exhaustion. And many operate in systems that are underfunded and overstretched, which only adds to the frustration and sense of moral injury.

It’s a lot and it’s not something that can be fixed with a simple, “That sounds tough.”

First responders often need practical, evidence-based strategies that create real change in daily life. Some benefit from trauma-focused therapy, others from relational or cognitive approaches, most benefit from somatic or body-based exercises, and many need a combination of all three. Any therapist who works with first responders must be able to move fluidly between these areas because most responders are juggling work, health, family, and identity all at once.

Why This Work Matters to Me

This work feels deeply personal. I’ve always believed that the way a society treats its most vulnerable members says everything about its values.

First responders dedicate their lives to protecting those vulnerable members and in doing so, they make themselves vulnerable too. Their bravery, compassion, and sense of duty come at a cost. Supporting the people who support all of us feels like one small way I can give back and contribute to something bigger than myself.

How to Find the Right Therapist for First Responders

If you’re a first responder thinking about starting therapy, here are two key things I’d encourage you to consider:

1. Connection matters.
   Do you genuinely like your therapist and do they seem to like you? The therapeutic relationship is the foundation for meaningful progress and the number one predictor of positive outcomes.

2. Competence counts.
   Ask about their training and experience. Have they worked with first responders or trauma-related issues before? Do they understand the impact of cumulative stress, operational stress injuries, or post-traumatic stress? You have every right to know what makes them qualified to help you.

A Closing Note

Working with first responders has changed the way I think about resilience, vulnerability, and community. I’m continually inspired by the strength and humanity I see in this line of work and I’m grateful for the opportunity to support those who spend their lives supporting others.

If you’re a first responder in Alberta looking for support with stress, trauma, or burnout, I hope you’ll reach out.

Heard, Helped, Hugged

I had a moment earlier today that caused me to reflect. I was carrying some worries and stress, so I called my partner to vent. He answered the phone and asked how my day had been. I launched into a monologue of all the things that were on my mind. When I finished, he started telling me all the things I was doing right, all the ways that he had noticed me working hard and getting things done. I felt… annoyed.

I felt disregarded and rushed through my emotions. I felt frustration rising up and I asked him if I could call him later. I hung up the phone and started to reflect on why I was feeling the way I was. Despite all my training and experience, sometimes I have to turn the tables on myself. I pondered for a while and finally asked myself a common question I use in the therapy room: What do you need right now?

What I needed was to feel heard. My partner wanted to help. He hadn’t done anything wrong, but he had misunderstood my need in that moment. This is common in many types of relationships (try it with your teenager!). We often want to fix whatever is causing the person distress. We want to help them! The thing is, going into fix-it mode and trying to help can sometimes leave the other person feeling invalidated and like you didn’t truly hear what they were saying. A simple tool I encourage couples to use is this question:

“Do you need to be heard, helped, or hugged right now?”

• Heard → Sometimes we just want space to vent and feel understood without advice or problem-solving.

• Helped → Other times, we’re looking for practical solutions or support to move forward.

• Hugged → For times when connection is what matters most.

This quick check-in removes the guesswork, reduces frustration, and helps partners meet each other’s needs more effectively. It’s a small shift, but it can make a big difference in helping people feel supported and connected.

Next time someone you care about shares something with you, try asking: Heard, helped, or hugged?

- Megan

You’re Not The Only One

You’re not the only one who has questioned the path they are on and wondered “what if…” It’s my opinion that we are doing ourselves a disservice if we don’t check in once in a while to make sure the life we are living is being shaped by intention.  

When I decided to go back to school to become a psychologist there were a lot of well-meaning people who worried I was doing the wrong thing. They said it made more sense for me to go back to teaching. I was a newly single mom of four young kids at the time and if I’m being honest, they were right. It did make more sense, but it didn’t feel right.

For the first time in almost ten years, I had total control. I could do anything, and I was determined to finally do the work I had always wanted to do.  

I was also terrified.

My brain was flooded with a lot of “what if” statements that did not skew in my favour.
What if you fail?
What if no one wants to work with you?
What if you can’t afford to go back to school?
What if it’s too hard?

We find what we look for, and I was looking for every reason to not do the hard thing I knew I needed to do. If I could go back in time, I would give that version of me a hug (and some ice cream). I would nudge her gently to ask different questions.
What makes you happy?
What brings you a sense of purpose?
What kind of example do you want to set for you kids?
How cool would it be to be a psychologist?

I had been on the same path for a long time, but that path no longer aligned with the person I was and the life I wanted, so I chose a new path. You can choose a new path too. In fact, you are one decision away from a totally different life. Will it be hard? Yep. Will people discourage you and fill your mind with their doubts? They’ll try. Will it feel so good when you look back and see how far you’ve come or how much you’ve grown? Definitely.

You might never feel ready- start anyways. Not sure where to start? A good counsellor can help you figure that out.

-Megan